Learning to breathe 3/?
Aug. 26th, 2013 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reggie11Chapter Three: Harder to Breathe
Rating: NC17
Genre: RPS AU
Characters/ Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 2860
Warnings: This chapter has graphic depictions of sexual assault by multiple assailants. Please heed the warning if this may be a trigger for you.
Disclaimer: This story in no way represents the actors' real lives. I think of them as actors cast in the roles of fictional characters and the story is strictly AU.
Author’s Notes: No real names of family members will ever be used in any of my fics. All characters are CW actors or original characters. There will also be a few more graphic flashback scenes down the track but warnings will be given. Chapter titles are all names of songs. Chapter title is from Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5.
Masterpost
Previous chapter here.
Jared opened his eyes accompanied by a loud groan.
“Hey buddy, how are you doing?”
“Oh God, everything hurts so much.” He tried to sit up so Jensen put more pillows behind him to give him something to rest on.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked.
“Mmm, some water please.” After draining the glass he groaned again.
“Seriously Jared, you really need to go to the hospital.”
“Yeah, I think I do but I...I can’t...they’ll ask questions and call the cops and if the media gets hold of this...” He shuddered.
“I don’t really know how it works but I don’t think they’ll call the police unless you want them to. Are you sure you don’t want them involved? I know you don’t want this getting out and I do understand that but you can’t let these bastards get away with this either.”
“No cops, Jensen. Please.”
He didn’t agree at all but what could he do? “Okay, but hospital yeah?”
“What if someone recognizes me? All it’ll take is one call to the media or one photo on someone’s cell phone and then this’ll all come out. I can’t let that happen.”
“Hmm, okay but what if I call Samantha and see if she can arrange somewhere for you to be seen away from prying eyes? You’re going to have to tell her something anyway, you’re supposed to be filming again on Tuesday and I doubt you’re going to be up to heading back on set any time soon plus you’re covered in bruises.”
Jared started to cry again, not sobbing, just quiet tears. “I don’t want anyone to know...you know...what they did to me,” he said, breath hitching.
“I know, man but what about Sam? You know she’ll keep a lid on things and she’ll be able to help and you need help yeah? I can’t tell her you were just mugged or something because she’s going to want to know why the police aren’t involved and I need to ask her about getting you some protection. You said these guys targeted you and you need to tell me more about that later but for now you need medical treatment.” He reached out and gently squeezed Jared’s hand. “Please?”
Jared nodded and then turned his face into the pillow trying to choke back shame-filled sobs. Jensen picked up his phone and walked into the hallway to make the call. Sam Ferris was stunned and horrified by the news but immediately took charge and called back thirty minutes later with directions to a private clinic and instructions to drive into the parking garage where they would be met by staff that were used to dealing with high profile people with complete confidentiality.
When they arrived at the small private hospital Jared started to panic and almost hyperventilated in the parking garage. He told Jensen he couldn’t bear to have a man touch him so Jensen asked the staff for a female doctor which was handled quickly and efficiently.
When the doctor arrived she asked if Jared wanted someone from the sexual assault service to help him through the examinations which he refused. She nodded and handed him a card with a name and number of a trauma counselor and after a cursory examination told him that she’d set up x-rays for his skull, hand and ribs and once they had determined there was no skull fracture they would give him some proper pain relief and he would be examined more thoroughly.
It turned out his hand was fractured and when he was brought back from radiology and had a cast put on, he was given pain relief and a mild sedative. The doctor asked Jensen to step outside so she could ask some private questions about the nature of the assault but Jared asked him if he would stay.
“Are you sure you want me here for this?”
“Yeah, um, that’s if you want to stay. I’m not sure I can do this on my own.” Jensen looked over to the doctor who nodded and asked him to take a seat again.
“Now I know this is extremely difficult,” she began, “but there are questions I have to ask and you need to be completely honest so I can treat you appropriately. Take as much time as you need but I need to know as much as possible.” Jared nodded so she continued. “I understand you don’t wish for the assault to be reported but I’d like to do a rape kit in case you change your mind later. I know you’ve bathed but there still may be traces of semen.” Jared made a strangled noise and Jensen felt white hot rage building behind his eyeballs at the vermin who did this.
“There isn’t any,” Jared said quietly, “they didn’t, you know...there were condoms...”
“So you’re saying no semen?” She received a head shake and a sob in response. “What about oral contact?”
The answer was so quiet it could barely be heard, “They used condoms for that too.”
Jensen was looking at the floor swallowing convulsively while Jared gripped his hand so tight the knuckles were white and Jensen was losing feeling in his fingers “Anything else happen?”
“Yes,” was the murmured answer.
Jensen thought his heart was going to stop, his tears were flowing freely and he was trying like hell to keep it together for Jared’s sake. He glanced over but Jared had his eyes squeezed tight.
The doctor seemed to know what he meant and just said, “Do you have any idea what the object was?”
The answer was barely a whisper, “A bottle.” He paused and gulped a few times before continuing. “After they stopped...God, it hurt so much... he kicked me in the ribs and I couldn’t breathe...then he...he picked up a bottle and just shoved. He stomped on my hand and they all took turns spitting on me. They left me like that...I...I think maybe I blacked out for a while. I..I pulled it out of me and th..there was so much blood...” he took in air in gulping sobs, “then I got to my car and drove home.”
“How many men assaulted you, Jared?”
“Three. O-one of them r-raped me and the others...th-they made me...”
“Oral?”
“Y-yes.”
“Alright, that’s all I need to know. Now there are some things you need to know. With your permission I’d like to take some blood samples from you to test for HIV and Hepatitis B. These tests are standard in sexual assault cases. From what you’ve told me it sounds like there was very little chance you would have been exposed to HIV because of the use of condoms but you have received anal tearing and numerous abrasions so just to be on the safe side, I’ll prescribe what we call PEP treatment for you, which stands for post exposure prophylaxis. The course will be over a four week period. Unfortunately, the side effects can be unpleasant and the treatment may make you feel quite ill. I’ll give you a Hepatitis B vaccination today rather than wait for the results from your tests which will protect you if you’ve never been exposed before.
“There is however, a small risk of Hepatitis C exposure,” Jared looked fearfully at Jensen, “even though your attackers used condoms, you were exposed to saliva. Ordinarily, we don’t consider the disease transmissible through saliva but if it was tainted by blood and it came in contact with an open wound there could be a risk. I would consider it to be a very small risk but one we shouldn’t ignore. There is no protection I can offer you for Hep C unfortunately. I would still say the chance of you contracting it is very low but we can test you for it in around twelve weeks just to be on the safe side. Try not to worry and let’s just get you through this okay? I’m going to administer a muscle relaxant and some antibiotics, you already have a low grade fever, and then I’m going to examine you. Mr Ackles, I’ll need you to step out now. There’s a coffee machine just down the hall, I’ll come and get you when we’re done.”
Jensen thought it was lucky that they had lightly sedated Jared as all of this was just so overwhelming. He couldn't understand how human beings could be so cruel and now he had to go through this on top of everything. He moved closer and pressed his lips to his friend’s forehead. “I’ll be just outside okay?” When he stepped just outside the door the world started to tilt and suddenly there was a hand on his arm and he was being led to a chair with someone pushing his head between his knees telling him to take slow breaths.
After he got Jared back home and gave him the medication to help him sleep he went home and packed some things. He didn’t know how long Jared would want him there but he would stay as long as he was needed. He just wished there was more he could do.
Jared slept most of that day and night in a sedated haze. Jensen called the boarding kennel and asked them to keep the dogs for a few more days and busied himself doing some of Jared’s housework. One of the things he made sure to do was to bag up all of the clothing that Jared was wearing during the assault and placed it in the trunk of his car. For one thing, he knew Jared wouldn’t be able to cope with seeing them and two, even though Jared was insistent that he wasn’t going to report it, Jensen wanted to preserve any evidence of the attackers in case he changed his mind. There would have to be some trace of them on his clothes because Jared had said the animals had spat on him. He didn’t know if whatever was found would hold up under scrutiny in court but it couldn’t hurt either.
Samantha called numerous times to check in and said she was going to call Rob Benedict, the director of the movie Jared was filming and tell him that Jared had been in an accident and ask if they could juggle the filming schedule. Jared and Rob were close friends but it would be up to Jared how much, if anything, he wanted to tell the director. Luckily, his part was small so it probably wouldn’t cause too many waves. She also said that she had looked into counselors who could visit Jared at home and gave Jensen a couple of names and numbers.
Lauren had left a few messages and Jensen knew he was going to have to get Jared to call her back before she started really worrying. He also thought that Jared needed to tell her the truth. They’d been together for two years and had recently gotten engaged. She’d want to be there for him and he doubted this was something Jared was going to be able to hide from her no matter how much he may want to.
God, this was just so fucked up.
The following morning after Jared had eaten a little of the breakfast Jensen had brought him and had changed his dressings, Jensen asked if he was up to telling him more about what his attackers had said. He wanted information so they could organize whatever protection necessary to keep Jared safe.
“Do you think you can tell me about it?”
His eyes lowered and he replied, “Yeah I guess, it’s not like you don’t know most of the gory details anyway,” which made Jensen wince.
“The guy...the one that actually...you know,” Jensen nodded so Jared continued, “he stepped out in front of me as I was rounding the corner at the back of the bar. At first I just thought it was just some random dude walking but he made some comment about me being a movie star or something and then someone jumped me from behind.” He took a deep breath and went on. “I dunno whether it was the hit to my head or when my head hit the pavement but I was out. It might have been seconds or minutes, I don’t know. I was kinda dazed and before I could even try to get up there was a knee in my back and a couple guys grabbing me and pulling me up to my knees by my arms and my hair.
“The main guy punched me in the gut a coupla times and I think I might’ve thrown up, I couldn’t catch my breath and my head was still spinning from the hit you know?” Jensen nodded but stayed silent. “Then he said something like ‘so you’re that faggot Padalecki’ and some crap about being a dirty homo and my love scenes with Jake. Then he mentioned you and said ‘where’s your pretty boyfriend now?’ and I tried to get up but the other two had a hold of me and I think one was kneeling on the back of my legs. When I really started trying to throw them off he punched me again. He started saying shit about both of us, you and me, and how he’d seen us all over each other and what disgusting fags we were. I dunno where, maybe he’d seen the pap photos of us messin’ around or with my arm around your shoulder...I know I touch everyone a lot man but...”
“Hey, it’s not your fault some homophobic asshole can’t tell the difference between acting and real life or handle seeing someone be friendly. None of this is on you do you understand me?”
“I guess but maybe if I wasn’t so over-affectionate...fuck... they thought both of us were boyfriends or something.”
“Jesus Jared, even if we were it doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt you!”
“The shit they were saying...they wanted to hurt both of us, Jensen, Jake too. It was just lucky you weren’t there with me.”
“Hell, I wish I had been there! I doubt the cowardly pricks would’ve tried anything if it wasn’t three on one. If I’d have gone when you asked me to this probably wouldn’t have happened at all!”
“No, no, no! You don’t get to feel guilty about this. The way they were talking they were going to get me sooner or later. At least Jake is safe while he’s filming in New York but I’m really worried they’re going to go after you next. I don’t want this to happen to you too. I couldn’t handle that!”
“It won’t okay, we’ll both take precautions. No more taking your own car to the studio, Sam is going to get you a bodyguard who will double as your driver. She can organize extra security on-set when you’re ready to go back to work. Did they say anything about locations or the studio or anything?”
“A lot of what they were saying is a blur. I don’t remember much else any of them said because that was when they ripped my jeans down...and they did things, they forced me to...said if I bit them they’d kill me...and...and...then they had me pinned to the ground and I knew what was coming next and God, I was so scared. I struggled and fought as much as I could and then he was...he was just shoving into me...hard...and I was screaming but nobody came and...fuck! It hurt so much and I thought it would never stop and then they finally finished with me he kicked me again...then I saw him pick up the bottle and I...I begged him to stop but...”
By now he was gasping for breath and crying so hard, all Jensen wanted to do – besides kill the fuckers – was to scoop up Jared and hug him but he didn’t know if he should touch him right now so he just started saying “Sshhh, sshhh, you’re safe now.” And then Jared practically hurtled into his arms and almost knocked him down. So he just held on, trying and failing to stem his own tears and kept making comforting noises until the sobbing subsided.
It was by far the worst thing Jensen had ever had to listen to. He wanted to rip off his own ears after hearing it but Jared had lived it and the nightmare wasn’t going to end anytime soon so as much as he didn’t want to hear any more he would listen until his ears bled if it meant lightening the load even a fraction for Jared. He could do this. He had to this, because he knew if the tables were turned the man currently sobbing in his arms would do it for him in a heartbeat. Jared had given him unwavering support through some of the worst times in his life, when his marriage ended and when he almost lost his sister to a brain tumor. It was his turn now and he would do everything he could to get his best friend through this.
Chapter four
Rating: NC17
Genre: RPS AU
Characters/ Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 2860
Warnings: This chapter has graphic depictions of sexual assault by multiple assailants. Please heed the warning if this may be a trigger for you.
Disclaimer: This story in no way represents the actors' real lives. I think of them as actors cast in the roles of fictional characters and the story is strictly AU.
Author’s Notes: No real names of family members will ever be used in any of my fics. All characters are CW actors or original characters. There will also be a few more graphic flashback scenes down the track but warnings will be given. Chapter titles are all names of songs. Chapter title is from Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5.
Masterpost
Previous chapter here.
Chapter Three - Harder to Breathe
Jared opened his eyes accompanied by a loud groan.
“Hey buddy, how are you doing?”
“Oh God, everything hurts so much.” He tried to sit up so Jensen put more pillows behind him to give him something to rest on.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked.
“Mmm, some water please.” After draining the glass he groaned again.
“Seriously Jared, you really need to go to the hospital.”
“Yeah, I think I do but I...I can’t...they’ll ask questions and call the cops and if the media gets hold of this...” He shuddered.
“I don’t really know how it works but I don’t think they’ll call the police unless you want them to. Are you sure you don’t want them involved? I know you don’t want this getting out and I do understand that but you can’t let these bastards get away with this either.”
“No cops, Jensen. Please.”
He didn’t agree at all but what could he do? “Okay, but hospital yeah?”
“What if someone recognizes me? All it’ll take is one call to the media or one photo on someone’s cell phone and then this’ll all come out. I can’t let that happen.”
“Hmm, okay but what if I call Samantha and see if she can arrange somewhere for you to be seen away from prying eyes? You’re going to have to tell her something anyway, you’re supposed to be filming again on Tuesday and I doubt you’re going to be up to heading back on set any time soon plus you’re covered in bruises.”
Jared started to cry again, not sobbing, just quiet tears. “I don’t want anyone to know...you know...what they did to me,” he said, breath hitching.
“I know, man but what about Sam? You know she’ll keep a lid on things and she’ll be able to help and you need help yeah? I can’t tell her you were just mugged or something because she’s going to want to know why the police aren’t involved and I need to ask her about getting you some protection. You said these guys targeted you and you need to tell me more about that later but for now you need medical treatment.” He reached out and gently squeezed Jared’s hand. “Please?”
Jared nodded and then turned his face into the pillow trying to choke back shame-filled sobs. Jensen picked up his phone and walked into the hallway to make the call. Sam Ferris was stunned and horrified by the news but immediately took charge and called back thirty minutes later with directions to a private clinic and instructions to drive into the parking garage where they would be met by staff that were used to dealing with high profile people with complete confidentiality.
ooOoo
When they arrived at the small private hospital Jared started to panic and almost hyperventilated in the parking garage. He told Jensen he couldn’t bear to have a man touch him so Jensen asked the staff for a female doctor which was handled quickly and efficiently.
When the doctor arrived she asked if Jared wanted someone from the sexual assault service to help him through the examinations which he refused. She nodded and handed him a card with a name and number of a trauma counselor and after a cursory examination told him that she’d set up x-rays for his skull, hand and ribs and once they had determined there was no skull fracture they would give him some proper pain relief and he would be examined more thoroughly.
It turned out his hand was fractured and when he was brought back from radiology and had a cast put on, he was given pain relief and a mild sedative. The doctor asked Jensen to step outside so she could ask some private questions about the nature of the assault but Jared asked him if he would stay.
“Are you sure you want me here for this?”
“Yeah, um, that’s if you want to stay. I’m not sure I can do this on my own.” Jensen looked over to the doctor who nodded and asked him to take a seat again.
“Now I know this is extremely difficult,” she began, “but there are questions I have to ask and you need to be completely honest so I can treat you appropriately. Take as much time as you need but I need to know as much as possible.” Jared nodded so she continued. “I understand you don’t wish for the assault to be reported but I’d like to do a rape kit in case you change your mind later. I know you’ve bathed but there still may be traces of semen.” Jared made a strangled noise and Jensen felt white hot rage building behind his eyeballs at the vermin who did this.
“There isn’t any,” Jared said quietly, “they didn’t, you know...there were condoms...”
“So you’re saying no semen?” She received a head shake and a sob in response. “What about oral contact?”
The answer was so quiet it could barely be heard, “They used condoms for that too.”
Jensen was looking at the floor swallowing convulsively while Jared gripped his hand so tight the knuckles were white and Jensen was losing feeling in his fingers “Anything else happen?”
“Yes,” was the murmured answer.
Jensen thought his heart was going to stop, his tears were flowing freely and he was trying like hell to keep it together for Jared’s sake. He glanced over but Jared had his eyes squeezed tight.
The doctor seemed to know what he meant and just said, “Do you have any idea what the object was?”
The answer was barely a whisper, “A bottle.” He paused and gulped a few times before continuing. “After they stopped...God, it hurt so much... he kicked me in the ribs and I couldn’t breathe...then he...he picked up a bottle and just shoved. He stomped on my hand and they all took turns spitting on me. They left me like that...I...I think maybe I blacked out for a while. I..I pulled it out of me and th..there was so much blood...” he took in air in gulping sobs, “then I got to my car and drove home.”
“How many men assaulted you, Jared?”
“Three. O-one of them r-raped me and the others...th-they made me...”
“Oral?”
“Y-yes.”
“Alright, that’s all I need to know. Now there are some things you need to know. With your permission I’d like to take some blood samples from you to test for HIV and Hepatitis B. These tests are standard in sexual assault cases. From what you’ve told me it sounds like there was very little chance you would have been exposed to HIV because of the use of condoms but you have received anal tearing and numerous abrasions so just to be on the safe side, I’ll prescribe what we call PEP treatment for you, which stands for post exposure prophylaxis. The course will be over a four week period. Unfortunately, the side effects can be unpleasant and the treatment may make you feel quite ill. I’ll give you a Hepatitis B vaccination today rather than wait for the results from your tests which will protect you if you’ve never been exposed before.
“There is however, a small risk of Hepatitis C exposure,” Jared looked fearfully at Jensen, “even though your attackers used condoms, you were exposed to saliva. Ordinarily, we don’t consider the disease transmissible through saliva but if it was tainted by blood and it came in contact with an open wound there could be a risk. I would consider it to be a very small risk but one we shouldn’t ignore. There is no protection I can offer you for Hep C unfortunately. I would still say the chance of you contracting it is very low but we can test you for it in around twelve weeks just to be on the safe side. Try not to worry and let’s just get you through this okay? I’m going to administer a muscle relaxant and some antibiotics, you already have a low grade fever, and then I’m going to examine you. Mr Ackles, I’ll need you to step out now. There’s a coffee machine just down the hall, I’ll come and get you when we’re done.”
Jensen thought it was lucky that they had lightly sedated Jared as all of this was just so overwhelming. He couldn't understand how human beings could be so cruel and now he had to go through this on top of everything. He moved closer and pressed his lips to his friend’s forehead. “I’ll be just outside okay?” When he stepped just outside the door the world started to tilt and suddenly there was a hand on his arm and he was being led to a chair with someone pushing his head between his knees telling him to take slow breaths.
ooOoo
After he got Jared back home and gave him the medication to help him sleep he went home and packed some things. He didn’t know how long Jared would want him there but he would stay as long as he was needed. He just wished there was more he could do.
Jared slept most of that day and night in a sedated haze. Jensen called the boarding kennel and asked them to keep the dogs for a few more days and busied himself doing some of Jared’s housework. One of the things he made sure to do was to bag up all of the clothing that Jared was wearing during the assault and placed it in the trunk of his car. For one thing, he knew Jared wouldn’t be able to cope with seeing them and two, even though Jared was insistent that he wasn’t going to report it, Jensen wanted to preserve any evidence of the attackers in case he changed his mind. There would have to be some trace of them on his clothes because Jared had said the animals had spat on him. He didn’t know if whatever was found would hold up under scrutiny in court but it couldn’t hurt either.
Samantha called numerous times to check in and said she was going to call Rob Benedict, the director of the movie Jared was filming and tell him that Jared had been in an accident and ask if they could juggle the filming schedule. Jared and Rob were close friends but it would be up to Jared how much, if anything, he wanted to tell the director. Luckily, his part was small so it probably wouldn’t cause too many waves. She also said that she had looked into counselors who could visit Jared at home and gave Jensen a couple of names and numbers.
Lauren had left a few messages and Jensen knew he was going to have to get Jared to call her back before she started really worrying. He also thought that Jared needed to tell her the truth. They’d been together for two years and had recently gotten engaged. She’d want to be there for him and he doubted this was something Jared was going to be able to hide from her no matter how much he may want to.
God, this was just so fucked up.
ooOoo
The following morning after Jared had eaten a little of the breakfast Jensen had brought him and had changed his dressings, Jensen asked if he was up to telling him more about what his attackers had said. He wanted information so they could organize whatever protection necessary to keep Jared safe.
“Do you think you can tell me about it?”
His eyes lowered and he replied, “Yeah I guess, it’s not like you don’t know most of the gory details anyway,” which made Jensen wince.
“The guy...the one that actually...you know,” Jensen nodded so Jared continued, “he stepped out in front of me as I was rounding the corner at the back of the bar. At first I just thought it was just some random dude walking but he made some comment about me being a movie star or something and then someone jumped me from behind.” He took a deep breath and went on. “I dunno whether it was the hit to my head or when my head hit the pavement but I was out. It might have been seconds or minutes, I don’t know. I was kinda dazed and before I could even try to get up there was a knee in my back and a couple guys grabbing me and pulling me up to my knees by my arms and my hair.
“The main guy punched me in the gut a coupla times and I think I might’ve thrown up, I couldn’t catch my breath and my head was still spinning from the hit you know?” Jensen nodded but stayed silent. “Then he said something like ‘so you’re that faggot Padalecki’ and some crap about being a dirty homo and my love scenes with Jake. Then he mentioned you and said ‘where’s your pretty boyfriend now?’ and I tried to get up but the other two had a hold of me and I think one was kneeling on the back of my legs. When I really started trying to throw them off he punched me again. He started saying shit about both of us, you and me, and how he’d seen us all over each other and what disgusting fags we were. I dunno where, maybe he’d seen the pap photos of us messin’ around or with my arm around your shoulder...I know I touch everyone a lot man but...”
“Hey, it’s not your fault some homophobic asshole can’t tell the difference between acting and real life or handle seeing someone be friendly. None of this is on you do you understand me?”
“I guess but maybe if I wasn’t so over-affectionate...fuck... they thought both of us were boyfriends or something.”
“Jesus Jared, even if we were it doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt you!”
“The shit they were saying...they wanted to hurt both of us, Jensen, Jake too. It was just lucky you weren’t there with me.”
“Hell, I wish I had been there! I doubt the cowardly pricks would’ve tried anything if it wasn’t three on one. If I’d have gone when you asked me to this probably wouldn’t have happened at all!”
“No, no, no! You don’t get to feel guilty about this. The way they were talking they were going to get me sooner or later. At least Jake is safe while he’s filming in New York but I’m really worried they’re going to go after you next. I don’t want this to happen to you too. I couldn’t handle that!”
“It won’t okay, we’ll both take precautions. No more taking your own car to the studio, Sam is going to get you a bodyguard who will double as your driver. She can organize extra security on-set when you’re ready to go back to work. Did they say anything about locations or the studio or anything?”
“A lot of what they were saying is a blur. I don’t remember much else any of them said because that was when they ripped my jeans down...and they did things, they forced me to...said if I bit them they’d kill me...and...and...then they had me pinned to the ground and I knew what was coming next and God, I was so scared. I struggled and fought as much as I could and then he was...he was just shoving into me...hard...and I was screaming but nobody came and...fuck! It hurt so much and I thought it would never stop and then they finally finished with me he kicked me again...then I saw him pick up the bottle and I...I begged him to stop but...”
By now he was gasping for breath and crying so hard, all Jensen wanted to do – besides kill the fuckers – was to scoop up Jared and hug him but he didn’t know if he should touch him right now so he just started saying “Sshhh, sshhh, you’re safe now.” And then Jared practically hurtled into his arms and almost knocked him down. So he just held on, trying and failing to stem his own tears and kept making comforting noises until the sobbing subsided.
It was by far the worst thing Jensen had ever had to listen to. He wanted to rip off his own ears after hearing it but Jared had lived it and the nightmare wasn’t going to end anytime soon so as much as he didn’t want to hear any more he would listen until his ears bled if it meant lightening the load even a fraction for Jared. He could do this. He had to this, because he knew if the tables were turned the man currently sobbing in his arms would do it for him in a heartbeat. Jared had given him unwavering support through some of the worst times in his life, when his marriage ended and when he almost lost his sister to a brain tumor. It was his turn now and he would do everything he could to get his best friend through this.
Chapter four
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-08-26 11:32 am (UTC)Thanks for commenting.