reggie11 | Learning to breathe 9/?

Chapter Nine: War Within a Breath
Rating: NC17
Genre: RPS AU
Characters/ Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Nicki Aycox, Ty Olssen
Word Count: Approx 3000
Warnings: This fic contains non-con/sexual assault. Please heed the warnings if this may be a trigger for you. Nothing graphic in this chapter.
Disclaimer: This story in no way represents the actors' real lives. I think of them as actors cast in the roles of fictional characters and the story is strictly AU. Don't own anything but my own words.

Author’s Notes: I have a feeling you're going to hate me for this chapter and the next couple to follow after the sweetness of the last two chapters but it's a really important part of the story progression so bear with me. Things are heating up in more ways than one. All chapter titles are the names of songs. Chapter title is from War Within a Breath by Rage Against the Machine.

Masterpost
Previous chapter

Chapter Nine - War Within a Breath

Jared had gotten his Hepatitis C and second HIV test results earlier that morning and both were negative. He was in a lighter mood than he’d been since before the attack, his dimples coming out like the sun from behind storm clouds. Jensen couldn’t stop staring at the sight. Damn it was good to see Jared smiling.

Jensen had told him that they would do something to celebrate when he got home from the meeting he had to attend and that Jared should think about what he’d like to do. Jared thought it was time to start trying to reconnect with other friends again. He’d been keeping contact via phone and Rob had been to see him a few times, excitedly talking about his movie and how it was going to be included in the next Sundance Film Festival. He was always so animated and Jared was always left in a better mood after each visit. But other than Rob - and of course, Jensen - he’d barely seen any of his other friends.

Each thought it was because of his break up with Lauren and he never moved to correct them. Although they had all wanted to offer support, they also thought he must need the time to himself. Maybe they could have a few of the guys over for a cookout at the weekend. He especially wanted to see Aldis because he felt enormously guilty for missing the man’s engagement party. He’d said he completely understood but he could hear how disappointed his friend had been when he called to tell him he couldn’t make it. He was almost certain Aldis was going to ask him to be best man at his wedding. He found himself smiling at the thought of actually wanting to be around his friends again.

The phone in the kitchen rang sharply startling Jared out of his reverie. It was the line in the house that came directly from the security gates of the community and it almost never rang. Jensen was still at the meeting with his publicist and even though he felt a little weird about answering it, Jared picked up.

“Hello?”

“Mr Ackles, it’s Fredric down at the gate.”

“Hi Fredric, Jensen isn’t home right now, this is Jared, Jensen’s house-guest. Is something wrong?”

“Oh, of course, sorry Mr Padalecki. No nothing is wrong, it’s just Ms Aycox is here and I don’t have her on the list of expected guests. She’s kind of demanding to be let through and normally we would let her go on in but Mr Ackles told me that nobody was to be allowed in that he didn’t authorize first. Should I ask her to leave?”

The name puzzled him for a moment and then he remembered that Jensen’s ex had reverted back to her maiden name after their divorce.

Jared sighed. As far as he knew Jensen hadn’t seen Nicki at all in the last few months and although they remained on reasonable terms after the divorce he thought it was weird that she would turn up without calling first. He had always gotten along with her fine – at least until she betrayed Jensen and left him – but she was a real handful and he really didn’t feel up to having to entertain her until Jensen got back but what could he do?

“No, it’s fine, Fredric. Send her up to the house.”

He heard her car pull up in the drive as he finished sending a quick text message to Jensen’s phone. Were you expecting Nicki? She just turned up at home.

As was typical with her she didn’t bother knocking and just breezed through the front door.

“Jense, honey, where are you?”

“Hey Nick, Jensen’s not home right now.”

She wheeled around when she heard his voice.

“Jared? Oh hey.” She walked over and stood up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. “Where’s Jense?”

“He’s at a meeting but he should be home any time now. You look good, it’s been a while.”

“Well shit, look at you! Got a new action role or something? You’re looking pretty buff.” She grinned and then said, “Put those muscles to work will you, sugar, and grab my bags from the car?”

“Bags?”

“Yeah, things are really tough for me right now and I’m going to need to stay here for a while.” The smile slipped from her face and her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. “I don’t want to be rude but would you mind going home and catching up with Jense later. I really need to talk to him alone; personal stuff. You understand don’t you?”

Jared’s head was spinning. The thought of going back home was making his chest tight but she was so close to tears so something was obviously wrong and Nicki had been the most important person in Jensen’s life for a long time so even though he had to swallow back the nausea at the thought of leaving the safety and comfort of Jensen’s home he knew he had no choice but to make himself scarce.

“Um, yeah, of course. I’ve uh just got to get a couple of things from the guest room and round up my dogs, I’ve been staying here.”

Her demeanor changed almost instantly, her face going hard.

“You’re living here?”

“No, no, just been staying for a while. I’ll grab your bags for you.”

“Just leave them. Jense can get them for me. Can you just grab your stuff and go, I’d rather he and I were alone when he gets home. I have some really important stuff to talk to him about. I’ll have him call you later.”

If he wasn’t in so much turmoil from the thought of leaving what had become his sanctuary he would have bristled at the utter rudeness and the hostile tone she was now using toward him. As it was, it was all he could do not to have a panic attack.

“Um sure, I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes.”

He decided to just grab the basics and head out; he could get the rest of his stuff later. He slipped out the back to the guest house to tell Ty they needed to return to his house and asked him to round up the dogs then he snatched up some essentials from the guest room and threw them into a bag. Ten minutes later he walked into the living room where Nicki was sitting smoking a cigarette. He wrinkled his nose knowing how pissed Jensen was going to be that she was smoking inside the house. He knew it and she knew it; it was a little power play on her part.

“I’ll be off then. I hope everything is okay with you Nick.”

A curt nod was the only response he received as he walked out of the house on unsteady legs and got into his SUV. Ty was loading the dogs into the back when Jensen turned into the drive.

He jumped out of his car and jogged up to see where Jared was going. It was so rare that Jared went anywhere these days he was pleased to see him getting out.

“Hey Ty, where are you guys off to?” His smile fell when he saw the tight expression on Ty’s face.

“Jared asked me to take him home, he packed a bag and he doesn’t look too good.”

“What? Why?”

Ty just shrugged.

As he headed toward the passenger door he noticed the sports car that was parked on the other side of the SUV and saw Jared’s ashen face.

“Are you okay? Whose car is that?” He pulled the door open. “What’s going on?”

Jared answered, his voice shaky, “Didn’t you get my message? Nicki’s here.”

“Nicki? No, I must have missed it. What’s she doing here and why are you leaving?”

“I think something’s happened, she seems pretty upset. Said she needed to stay with you for a while and uh, she asked me to go home. It’s okay, I get it. You two need some time. Me staying here was only temporary anyway, I can pick up the rest of my stuff some other time.”

“What the fuck? NO! Come back inside. I don’t know what the hell is going on but she can’t come into my house and tell you to leave, we aren’t married anymore, she doesn’t get to make those decisions. Come inside and I’ll go find out what the hell is going on.”

“Ty, can you take Jared back through to his room while I go sort this out.”

Jared sighed. “Jensen, it’s okay really.”

“No, man, it’s really not. Get your ass inside.”

All three men walked through the front door with the dogs trotting alongside. Ty leading a shaking Jared back through to his room as Jensen strode toward Nicki scowling at the smell of cigarette smoke.

“Jense baby, I thought Jared was going home. I need to talk to you. And who on earth is that?” She asked nudging her head toward Ty.

“Why are you here Nick?”

Nicki pouted and shot a filthy look at the backs of the two men retreating down the hall.

“Don’t be mean to me baby, things are hard enough for me without you sniping at me. Why is Jared still here?” She whined, “I need to speak with you alone.” She turned toward Jensen with tears making her eyes shiny and Jensen softened. He never could bear the sight of her crying.

He reached forward and took her hand. “Don’t worry about that now, we’re alone enough, it’s a big house, we have privacy. C’mon sit down and tell me why you’re so upset.”

He led her to the sofa and she sat so close she was almost on top of him making him instantly uncomfortable but then she began to cry so he wrapped his arms around her.

“What is it Nick? What’s happened?”

“It’s Sebastian,” she said sobbing, “He’s having an affair.”

Jensen rolled his eyes above Nicki’s head and had to stifle a snort at the sheer irony of her coming to him to be consoled by him about being cheated on by the man she cheated on Jensen with.

“Well shit, Nick, it’s not like you knew he wasn’t capable of it. He was married when you two first hooked up.”

She pushed at Jensen sitting back looking at him incredulously.

“Don’t be cruel to me Jense,” she sniffed, “I thought you cared about me.”

He sighed and pulled her back into his chest.

“You know I care about you, Nick. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, you’re hurting and I didn’t mean to make things worse.”

He held her until her crying subsided into sniffles and said, “I understand things are bad right now and I’m not trying to be mean but I’m still not sure why you’re here.”

“I need to stay here, I can’t go home.”

“Nick, for God’s sake that house belongs to you, why didn’t you throw the bastard out? He can’t make you leave your own home.”

“It’s not that, baby; I just needed to get out of there.”

“Nick, we’re divorced, remember? Don’t you have friends you could stay with? What about Katherine?”

She snaked her arm around his neck and began to kiss along his jaw as she climbed up to straddle his lap. “I need you, baby. I made a terrible mistake when I left you. I want to come home. Don’t you want that too?” She said as she started to grind down onto him. “We were so good together baby and it could be like that again. I miss you.”

She sealed her mouth over his, plunging her tongue immediately inside.

Jensen’s heart stuttered from the dizzying rush of sensation of being rubbed at and kissed by the woman he had loved so fiercely. As recently as six months ago, even after everything she had done and all of the pain she had caused him he probably would’ve given in but they had been over for two years, he had finally moved forward and there was no way he could go back now. He loved Nicki and always would but he was no longer in love with her and her manipulations didn’t work on him anymore. When he put his hands around her waist Nicki made a satisfied sound until he lifted her from his lap and unceremoniously plopped her down on the sofa away from him, her mouth falling open in shock.

“Not going to happen, Nick.”

Anger fleetingly passed over her face before she schooled her features into something seductive and she began to move toward him again. “You don’t mean that, baby. I want you so much and I know you want me too. We love each other, we can go back to how we were and be so happy. I know I fucked up and I realize that now but I’m home now, baby and I’m so sorry. We’re meant to be, Jense, and you know it.”

This time he shoved her away and stood up.

“For fuck’s sake, Nick. You think after two years and everything you did that you can just waltz in here and pick up where we left off? You’re delusional! Jesus Christ, we’re over. We’ve been over for a long time. You don’t love me, you just want to use me to ease the pain of Sebastian hurting you. You can’t play me and you can’t use the love I had for you to manipulate me anymore because it’s past tense, Nicki. You need to clean up your own damn mess.”

“When did you become such a heartless prick?” She screamed at him. “I need you and you told me you’d always be there for me; that you’d always take care of me.”

“Those were our wedding vows, Nicki! That was before you ran off and fucked someone else and threw away everything we had like yesterday’s trash. It’s not my Goddamn job to pick up the pieces because Sebastian is doing to you what you did to us.”

“Your job?! I thought you might care about me! Do you really hate me that much that you think I deserve this? Are you enjoying that I’m in pain?”

Jensen slumped back down into an armchair. “I don’t hate you Nick, I could never hate you but I don’t love you anymore either – at least not how you hoped I would. I don’t like to see you hurt but yeah, part of me thinks this is a little like karma.”

“Oh, fuck you, Jensen!”

Sounds filtered in from the kitchen and Nicki wheeled on him.

“Oh my God, it’s true isn’t it?”

Jensen sighed wearily. “What’s true?”

“You and Jared. He’s living here because you’re together. That’s why you don’t want me back. They said you two were in a relationship and I didn’t want to believe it.” She muttered almost to herself and then spat venomously, “Were you fucking him while we were married?”

“Christ, Nicki, have you lost your ever-loving mind? Of course not! Jared is my best friend, nothing more, and you know it. Who the hell told you we were in a relationship?”

“Then why is he living here when he has a perfectly good home of his own? Jesus, you were together when we were married weren’t you? I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your fag tendencies down, why do you think I had to go out and find myself a real man!”

Jensen reeled like he had been slapped. He knew Nicki had never been entirely comfortable with the fact that he was bi but he was always, always, faithful. He had been married to her for years and although he knew she could be cruel, manipulative and spiteful when she was angry, he had never taken her for a vicious bigot. How could he have never known this about the woman he had loved?

“You will never come into my home and call me or anyone else that, do you understand me?” he growled. “You knew who I was when you married me and you said you didn’t care. I never cheated on you, hell I never even thought about cheating, that was your specialty.”
She visibly recoiled at the tone she had never heard coming from her former husband before.

Jensen grabbed hold of her arm to stop her retreat. “Jared doesn’t need these kinds of lies being said about him. Who the hell told you there was something going on between us?”

“Let go of my arm, Jensen, you’re hurting me. You seem a little defensive about someone you claim not to be sleeping with,” she taunted.

“Don’t fucking test me, Nicki. I’m defensive because none of it is true so I’ll ask you again, who is it that’s spreading this ridiculous and hurtful gossip?” He dropped her arm like he’d been burned.

Before he had a chance to register what was going on she was stomping through toward the back of the house shouting, “Is the letter true, Jared? Were you having a homo affair with my husband while we were married? Were you taking it up the ass in our bed?”

Jensen took off at a sprint after her just in time to see a wide-eyed Ty come through the door of the kitchen and Jared appearing in the doorway of the downstairs guest-room looking like he was going to puke.

“Is it?” Nicki screamed at Jared and just like that, Jared was down for the count, his head smashing into the door frame as he lost consciousness and fell.

Chapter 10

Learning to breathe 9/?

no subject

no subject